Not part of music royalty

(Morning Star, Friday 06 October 2006)

ALBUM: Fergie - The Dutchess
(Polydor)

ONE can only imagine that former Black Eyed Peas songstress Fergie has endeavoured to infuse a little class into her get-up, punning her album title on the given name of a lady of state.

How handy, then, that the only actual duchess with anywhere near this much filth emanating from her is also Fergie's namesake, mother to Princess Eugenie and the other one.

You may think that we're lucky that we don't have to listen to Duchess of York rap in a sickening fashion about toe-sucking or any of the myriad scandals she has involved herself in, but you'd be wrong.

There's not really much anyone could say to recommend this album. Like the BEP, Fergie takes "sampling" and turns it into "ripping off" at various stages.

Her little-girl-lost sluttiness is the epitome of clubland horror, so it's guaranteed to fill dance floors, but there's nothing more unsettling than hearing her take off Pink in Big Girls Don't Cry, hard house in Get Your Hands Up and, bizarrely, Limp Bizkit in Wake Up, all without a flinch.

Fergie's a chameleon of sorts, but it's no recommendation and she certainly ain't no duchess.