A real belter

(Morning Star, Friday 07 November 2008)

ALBUM: Kaiser Chiefs - Off With Their Heads
(B-Unique)

THIS album is the Kaiser Chiefs' next step in their doctrine on the evolution of yob culture.

It's pretty much business as usual, with lead single Never Miss A Beat heralding the return of the biting refrain.

Elsewhere, the band's devotion to the pop hit is not lacking. Always Happens Like That smacks of Orange Juice's Rip It Up and all the loveliness that entails, unspoiled even by Lily Allen on backing vocals.

The only smarting doubt comes from the very thing that makes some of their best singles great - repetition. Kaiser Chiefs have made it their life's work to chant their songs out, leaving the whole album to sound for all the world like the nursery rhymes of modern Britain.

Winter-proof your car

(Bookshelf Boyfriend, November 2008)

'Tis the season for shopping and partying! But while you're living large, don't forget your little bug, parked outside in the cold. This is one gal pal who is invaluable on those Christmas shopping expeditions!

Remember that your car doesn't like being out in the freezing cold any more than you do - so do yourselves both a favour and follow this simple 10-point guide:


1 - Frost on your windscreen is a nuisance - if you want to get ahead, secure newspaper under the wiper blades overnight. The ice won't get a chance to form on the screen - and you can hop in and drive off (carefully!) the morning after. Prevention is better than cure!


2 - If you really need a cure, the best investment is a sturdy scraper - not a cashcard or CD case! There are also terrific de-icing sprays on the market. The one thing you must never do is put hot water near a frosted windscreen. Cracked screens are so not a good look and fixing them is pricey.


3 - Make sure your screen-wash is kept topped up with about 50/50 water and anti-freeze - read your manual or anti-freeze bottle for exact specifications. As with other car fluids, check your oil, particularly for consistency - the cold has a tendency to thicken it. The start of winter should see an oil and filter change, recommended every 3,000 miles.


4 - Don't forget the tyres. Check them for wear and replace if balding or badly worn. Make sure you keep the pressure topped up for proper vehicle control - the appropriate pressures will be in your manual. You should be checking them every four to six weeks, whatever the weather - and don't forget the spare!


5 - Keep an eye on your brake pads. If you're not sure, you should have your brakes professionally inspected, as good brakes are essential for icy weather. If they are worn out, they are a danger.


6 - Check every light is working as it should be - the darker evenings and general bad weather mean that your car is less likely to be seen, so give it the best chance you can.


7 - In the cold, the car battery works much harder to achieve the same effect - a bit like when you crank up the elevation on the treadmill! If the battery is more than three years old, replace it. Keep contacts free of corrosion, and look out for discharge. Don't forget to use gloves and eye protection when near battery acid.


8 - Don't let car washing fall by the wayside now it's chilly outside - salt from the grit they spread on the roads can cause corrosion if left on the car, so keep it clean! Make a trip to the carwash or grab a young nephew to help.


9 - Keep your petrol tank at least half full and you will help reduce moisture problems in the fuel system.


10 - Check the condition of the drive belts. Shiny, frayed or cracked belts should be replaced. For tips, see the owner's manual.

It may seem like a hassle, but check out these flashpoints before motoring and you won't be sorry. Give that four-wheeled filly a little bit of TLC and she'll pay you back with good service!

BLACK LIGHT BURNS - COVER YOUR HEART

(AU magazine November 2008)

(EDEL RECORDS)

In 2008, it’s safe to say the mass hallucination of numetal has passed, leaving fans rubbing their eyes as if waking from a trance. Former Limp Bizkit axeman Wes Borland, now of Black Light Burns, is one of them, but here he’s brought his industrial rock talents to other peoples’ songs. With the sole intention of paying homage to heroes, it’s a labour of love with some good renderings. Maybe ten years' time will see some diehards cover Limp Bizkit songs with the same devotion.

KUNG FU SUPER SOUNDS: UNRELEASED SHAW BROTHERS SOUNDTRACK - VARIOUS ARTISTS

(AU magazine November 2008)

(DE WOLFE MUSIC LIBRARY)

Anyone who has ever dreamed of starring in their own heavily-choreographed retro kung fu movie is looking at a must-have record. This collection of songs culled from just such a movie-making dynasty may sound a little offbeat, but the tracks on show here are each peerless filmic grooves to make you feel effortlessly cool, sounding like an evening round Quentin Tarantino’s gaff. Listening to The Four Assassins from 1975’s Horror House paints pictures of martial arts baddies on the prowl, while the spooky Old Dark House from 1978’s Heaven and Hell is drowning in intrigue. The cuts from the late 70s are more evocative, offering bold strokes of a time now shamefully forgotten in both music and cinema. Listen and learn.

REEMER - SNAKES AND LADDERS

(AU magazine November 2008)

(REACTION RECORDS)

Plunging straight into staccato guitars and angsty lyrics, opener 'Maniac' sees Reemer vocalist Dave Hunter worrying about “the little voices in my head”. Not quite knowing their own minds is a theme for this Scouting for Girls-meets-McFly Mancunian foursome, as 'Words' sees Hunter plaintively and repeatedly wail, “tell me what I’m s’posed to think” as if the voices can offer some direction. The singability of their choruses is impressive, but Reemer have really taken the ingenue train past 'guileless' and straight in to 'stupid'.

Real life: "Meningitis almost killed my daughter"

(Somerfield magazine, November 2008)

Out of time

(Morning Star, Friday 24 October 2008)

ALBUM: Misty's Big Adventure - Television's People
(SL Records)

MISTY'S Big Adventure are a band at a crossroads.

In one direction lies success and adulation, a throne for Grandmaster Gareth and legions of MBA fanatics lapping up every second of the Brum eight-piece's seven records.

In the other, the band sink slowly into obscurity, with little to recommend their recorded output as they disappear into a universe of concept records and self-aware folly.

On Misty's most dense record to date, Grandmaster Gareth is a man out of time and without a map.

Gone to waste

(Morning Star, Friday 03 October 2008)

ALBUM: Max Tundra, Parallax Error Beheads You
(Domino Records)

EVER get the feeling you're missing something? The third and newest emission from Ben Jacobs - aka Max Tundra - is being hailed as a work of some merit, even being lauded by seasoned music hack Paul Lester as some kind of wonder.

Strange, then, that the album in question is a vastly tuneless affair, with the imprint of someone who got a Casio for Christmas.

In truth, the guy who clearly thinks he is reimagining Radiohead's In Rainbows is actually very aptly named. Parallax Error Beheads You is a musical wasteland with a truly chilling bedrock.

Contribution to Top 50 NI Songs of Our Lifetime

(AU magazine October 2008)

AND SO I WATCH YOU FROM AFAR - TheseRIOTSareJUSTtheBEGINNING

Post-rock to the max, the North Coast lads singlehandedly reduce such pigeonholes to mere frivolity. An instrumental mindbender with accomplished rhythms, 'TheseRIOTSareJUSTtheBEGINNING' unfurls to envelope the listener, all complex arrangements and unfeasibly tough chord progressions. Despite the lack of bono vox, there is an overarching voice which speaks of angst and determination, of melancholy and joy and most of all, of musical individuality.

THE DIVINE COMEDY - A LADY OF A CERTAIN AGE

The sharp-dressing persona of Neil Hannon is one which every NI music fan knows and loves, but his affair with critics is a torrid one. The 2006 single 'A Lady Of A Certain Age' quickly united both. In many ways, a latter-day answer to Peter Sarstedt's 'Where Do You Go To, My Lovely?', the lush, complex orchestration shows Hannon has spent nearly two decades honing a musicality which sets him apart from his pop contemporaries.

RED ORGAN SERPENT SOUND - IN SEARCH OF ORGASMUZ

Hailing from the other capital of NI, Red Organ Serpent Sound defy categorisation, but since their debut single 'In Search Of Orgasmuz', they have been wowing audiences with their grooves. Starting out with enough organ to make The Doors blush, lead singer Rory Moore kicks in with confidence and unleashes a throwback which was certainly more than anyone would have expected from a local band in 2005. The charisma and skill of these boys is best described as a force to be reckoned with.

PANAMA KINGS - YOUNG BLOOD

A veritable NI supergroup, Panama Kings ain't the oldest kids on the block, by any means. S how is it that they managed to turn one of their records into an anthem? With persistently high gigging standards and frankly astonishingly speedy uptake when it comes to fans, the Kings' top track is definitely the almighty 'Young Blood'. Chiming in with crisp, clear guitar, singer Niall Kennedy's voice is confident and uncompromising as it cuts through the melody. Comparisons have been made to Wayne Coyne, and truly the vocal talents of this lad will keep taking the Kings higher and higher. The confidence and accomplishment which 'Young Blood' speaks of is unmistakeable - the crystallised moment of a band on the up.

SNOW PATROL - SET THE FIRE TO THE THIRD BAR

Devoting their lives to a music career which, in darker moments, may have seemed fruitless, Snow Patrol persevered. The Eyes Open album became the biggest selling record of 2006, and the boys showed class as well as talent with this single. The strength is in letting Martha Wainwright lead - her crisp American delivery gives the song an otherworldly feel, and Gary Lightbody's voice benefits. The tale of two lovers rent asunder is beautiful and chilling, building constantly towards an emotional crescendo.

WEEZER - TROUBLEMAKER

(AU magazine October 2008)

(DGC RECORDS)

SINGLE REVIEW

Rivers Cuomo is such a kidder. Taking on the mantel of a ‘troublemaker’ in this new single, he is shrugging off his meek muso tag and doing his level best to sell himself as a rocker, a roller, a devil mare care… Oh, wait, it’s a joke. Weezer’s latest wheeze follows the same slightly sardonic tone as their non-hit Beverley Hills.. Both have the stamp of someone who finds himself absolutely hilarious, but in truth, it seems like Rivers lost his balls circa 2004 and instead picked up Fisher Price’s My First Rhyming Dictionary. Witness: “I'm a troublemaker, never been a faker… I'm a troublemaker, not a double taker” over a plodding, unfashionably tuneless melody.
The trouble with Weezer is that their die-hard fans hunt down the critics who give them poor reviews and threaten them with sticks. Oh, sorry, that’s fans of Iron Maiden. Weezer fans will be exhaling loudly when they read that this single is nothing more than very poor indeed. As juvenile and uninspired as their last single Pork And Beans, this will have fans of Judd Apatow movies rolling around on the floor.