Turgid stylings

(Morning Star, Saturday 11 June 2005)

ALBUM: Nine Black Alps - Everything Is
(Island)

A MANCHESTER four-piece turned up to a raucous, irritating 11, it's astonishing that Nine Black Alps ever got signed.

From opener Get Your Guns, the sound is all Nirvana guitars with very little in the way of actual tunes.

The sort of music that demands to be played loud, even if this was played at a whisper, it still manages to bring on a migraine, thanks to the band's turgid, plodding rock stylings.

Not Everyone showcases the band's varied abilities. No, wait, it's still the same rock-with-no-edge that 12-year-olds across the country are pounding through, dreaming of the day when they can get a record deal too.

Unsatisfied leaves the listener pretty much as you'd expect from the title, not least due to rhyming "unsatisfied" with "sick and tired," which is surely an infringement against the rules of songcraft.

Behind Your Eyes shows some guitar skill, but a little too much Metallica in the mix leaves a nasty taste in its wake.

The title track hits with a tiresome Pearl Jam earnestness and goes downhill from there, if such a thing is imaginable.

It would be too easy to give Nine Black Alps some sharp, pithy explanation for what I think Everything Is, so I'll leave it up to you.